Typical Day

Wake up by 6am,
Stumble to the coffee pot,
Thinking about how I need a coffee pot with a timer,
Check emails while coffee brews,
C'mon caffeine, do your thing,
One cup didn't do the trick,
Still a zombie,
Need another,
Maybe I should switch to espresso,
Brothers wake up at 6:30 am,
Baby proof before Baby toddles out,
Baby wakes up and manages to find an old sippie cup on the floor,
Brothers leave for the bus stop at 7:25am,
Throw some laundry in the wash,
Baby tosses in a toy,
Fix breakfast for me and Baby,
Baby screams because he is impatient and thinks he is starving to death,
Baby throws food on floor,
Clean up kitchen if it didn't get done the night before (dishes, counters, stove, table, floor),
Make funny faces at Baby,
Have I mentioned I don't own a dishwasher??
Baby watches Baby Einstein on Youtube while cleaning up (anyone think Baby Einstein is hypnotic?),
Baby and I take a bath,
Baby tries to climb the walls of the bathtub,
Get dressed for the day,
Baby lets out ear piercing screams because I won't let him eat the diaper rash cream,
I didn't get the diaper on in time and baby poops everywhere,
Play with Baby,
I let Baby beat me up with his toys,
Ha ha what fun,
Pretend to beat Baby up,
Tend to laundry (dryer, more in wash),
Thinking about how much I loathe laundry,
Keep baby from playing in the toilet water,
Play with Baby some more,
Baby has figured out how to climb on the coffee table,
Wonder if Baby will turn into a reckless teenager,
Put Baby down for morning nap,
Remembering how Baby was also very active BEFORE birth,
Steal some internet time,
Morning workout,
Wondering why I wasn't one of those who was blessed with the perfect, effortless body,
Pay bills as needed (if there's money),
Baby wakes up crying,
LUNCH!
Clean up from lunch (more dishes!),
It's no wonder my fingernails don't grow that much,
Make phone calls,
Run errands as needed,
Finish up laundry while Baby tries to climb in dryer,
Vaccuum while chasing Baby with vaccuum,
Clean toilets (if time) while Baby tosses everything in bathtub,
Play with Baby,
Take Baby outside so he can eat dirt and rocks,
Baby takes afternoon nap (if I'm lucky),
Baby wakes up crying,
Time for Brothers to come home,
How did it get to be 3:30 already?
Baby thinks it's fun to play in the trash can,
Put Baby in highchair for snack time,
Baby hurls sippie cup on floor,
Help Brothers with homework,
Wonder what in the world I was thinking having so many kids,
Why didn't I enjoy my youth more,
Brothers get ready for baseball practice or game,
Daddy comes home and rescues Mommy,
Throw something together for dinner,
Baby tries to open oven,
Baby gets into the fridge everytime it opens,
Dad puts up the baby gate,
Baby screams another blood curdling scream,
Someone is complaining about how they don't like broccoli,
Too bad,
Brothers help clean up kitchen while Dad keeps Baby preoccupied,
Dad gives Brothers 50cents each for a job well done (these kids have more money than we do),
If no baseball practice or game then it's time for relaxation in front of the TV, Relax?? When??
I think I need a job so I can rest,
Thank goodness Dad is here to help out,
Dad spanks Baby's hand for touching the electrical outlets,
Baby tries "beating up" brothers with his toys,
Bath time for Brothers,
Someone is taking too long in the bath,
Hurry up in there,
Brothers get ready for bed,
Baby gets ready for bed,
I need a glass of wine,
Make that two please,
Talk to older daughter on phone,
Listen as she complains about something,
Talk to older son on phone,
Listen as he talks about video games,
I can barely keep my eyes open,
Pathetic it's only 10:00,
Off to bed for...???
More TV?
Sleep?
Maybe,
You decide.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz